Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
