After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
operation harelip BJ is a go
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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