Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
