I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
