I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
