yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize