Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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