The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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