How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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