I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
