On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
