its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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