We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
