the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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