he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
