You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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