You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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