I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
