Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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