I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize