Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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