Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
