All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My nipple is on Facebook.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
