i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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