out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
