I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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