great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
