Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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