Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
