Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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