Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Randomize