Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
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