There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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