sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
