Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize