Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize