rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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