apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
