Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
