I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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