At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
