As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
