Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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