Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
