when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
