Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
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