Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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