I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
