she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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