you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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