Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
