I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
This show inspires me to have sex in space
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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