I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
