I smell stomach acid.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize