I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Randomize
