drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
My life is pants optional.
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