At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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