paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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