I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
