My room smells like vodka and shame
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
how does that bad decision feel?
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