If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
