Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
