im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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