you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
