I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
