Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
