I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
