Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
