I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
