you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Say something about gay babies.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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