Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize