I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
