my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
