Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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