just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
