The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
