People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Someone came in the potted fern
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
